I HATE HER CANCER!

My husband and I have been married going on 7 years this year and we have never been on a honeymoon.... 11 years together and 7 married and i feel like we havent spent much time together. Well today i was looking up vacation spots for just Chad and I and getting all exciting when all of a sudden I realize we have a child with cancer. Hello why would i even get excited to think of traveling 20 plus hours and leaving Haylee behind. What if something goes wrong and we are not here to be with her. I have to say this is frustrating and very disappointing. I didnt ask for her to go through this but I never realized that her cancer would effect so much of our lives. I love my daughter, she my first love but I HATE HER CANCER!! Why does a 4 year old have to go through this, its not fair on her or anyone else.  3 years of our lives that have been put on hold and 3 years of her childhood taken away and placed with chemo, port lines, traveling, hospital stays,medicine, surgeries, nights and days of pain and so much more. She was 3 when she was diagnosed my poor baby girl. Hunter was only 1 his childhood was also altered with not understanding whats going on, why is my sissy losing her hair, why did we have to leave home and move into a hotel room for 2 months, where are my toys and bed, why is mommy leaving me every Tuesday and why is she getting so much more attention than me. We dont realize how much a illness can change not just the person with cancer or the illness but the loved ones around them. When she was diagnosed we were told normal is no more that we will never have a normal life. This is so true normal is def. no more in the life of the Short's and nor will be for a long long long long time........... *sigh*