Thoughts,,,,,, Stay at home mom!

Im a stay at home mom and have been for 1 year 3 months. This is something I always wanted. I always wanted to be home raising my kids, cleaning my house and being there at the door when my husband walked through the door just like my mom was for years. But how I became one isnt like any other "normal" stay at home mommy. Chad didnt get a job that allowed me to stay home, I remember my last day of work, i remember seeing Chad walk through the door with the kids. I remember walking our of the office in a daze trying to figure out what just happend. But what happend was that I would not be coming back to work, what would happen is the next day we would be pulled into a small room and told your daughter has cancer. That was the moment I became a stay at home mom and a caregiver. a year later I think to myself how the hell did i ever go to work 8 hours a day come home and clean,cook, and take care of everything?? no clue because now that im a stay at home mom i cant manage to do all the things i could before. Im exhausted everyday. I feel like i have no energy what so ever. All i want to do is lay on the couch and not get my day started till maybe 12 haha being a stay at home mom is the hardest job i have ever had!!!